My grandmother always told me that saying 'jini' was lazy usage of Dine' bizaad. She said it was slang and that more appropriately a person should say 'da' shi' jini', which means 'was/is said to me'.
When I was in HS, Chinle kids would always say 'jini' and more often they would just say 'jin'. The Navajo slang was crazy and prominent there.
My grandmother was an invalueable resource and matriarchal pillar to our family. I miss her and love her dearly.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
this is the path you've chosen. you were wrong.
The past two weekends have been heavy with resolve/unresolve. The impacts upon my life are strenuous. Work is a piece of cake. Personal life is not.
I'm having a hard time. Consistently, I'm a positive person who is working to promote a positive lifestyle. Often, I'm overbearing and happen to nit pick details. But I really don't feel like I demoralize, demean or invoke violence or abuse onto anyone.
In all honesty, I feel good about where I'm at in life and am working to further my career path and longevity in my field.
Life is throwing curve balls at me. Unresolved issues spanning years back are manifesting in personal problems. Things I haven't thought about in years and don't choose to concentrate my energy on. I am helpless in resolve of these issues. It's fucking me up. It's interupting the course of my family life. My significant other has chosen long suppresed spite and anger toward me as a means to justify an end.
After breakfast on Sunday I took the kids for a drive into Phoenix. I talked to them and asked them to listen to me. They were really good about listening. They understand so much more then we give them credit for. At points I dissolved into an emotional mess.
At times I felt my heart being crushed in looking toward the future.
I'm having a hard time. Consistently, I'm a positive person who is working to promote a positive lifestyle. Often, I'm overbearing and happen to nit pick details. But I really don't feel like I demoralize, demean or invoke violence or abuse onto anyone.
In all honesty, I feel good about where I'm at in life and am working to further my career path and longevity in my field.
Life is throwing curve balls at me. Unresolved issues spanning years back are manifesting in personal problems. Things I haven't thought about in years and don't choose to concentrate my energy on. I am helpless in resolve of these issues. It's fucking me up. It's interupting the course of my family life. My significant other has chosen long suppresed spite and anger toward me as a means to justify an end.
After breakfast on Sunday I took the kids for a drive into Phoenix. I talked to them and asked them to listen to me. They were really good about listening. They understand so much more then we give them credit for. At points I dissolved into an emotional mess.
At times I felt my heart being crushed in looking toward the future.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
pretense of courtesy
I'm professional.
"We're supposed to meet at 9 a.m. Are you still available? I see. Well, can we meet after the lunch hour like 1 p.m.? Yeah sure, let's go to lunch. Call me and I'll meet you in the parking lot. Okay."
I instigate but am at the mercy of process.
"The hold up isn't on my end, I submitted the requisition. No. They haven't gotten back with me. I checked up on it and they told me they'll let me know when it's processed. With HR? It's the same deal. The position closed but I'm waiting for them to access the applicants and get back to me. They said they'd do it this week but that was last week. Okay, let me know."
There are two hours in the day when I'm assured the luxury of roaming the free expanses of my consciousness and the fringes of my subconscious. I drive and look far into the distance, way out onto the horizon. I daydream about walking along the arid open range and climbing up the hills and plateaus. I practice internal dialogue so I always know what to say. I space out hard while still maintaining my trajectory along the highway. The music is up louder then when I have passengers.
There's nary anyone on the road. Rarely is there. Barbed wire fences race along the periphery like crude animations. Vegetation gives way to dune.
Tonight I'll might make the drive into town where I'll meet up with people I barely know on the internet. Somehow they have gifted me with their friendship. I'll try hard to not try hard.
Tomorrow the road will lead me to the same destination.
"We're supposed to meet at 9 a.m. Are you still available? I see. Well, can we meet after the lunch hour like 1 p.m.? Yeah sure, let's go to lunch. Call me and I'll meet you in the parking lot. Okay."
I instigate but am at the mercy of process.
"The hold up isn't on my end, I submitted the requisition. No. They haven't gotten back with me. I checked up on it and they told me they'll let me know when it's processed. With HR? It's the same deal. The position closed but I'm waiting for them to access the applicants and get back to me. They said they'd do it this week but that was last week. Okay, let me know."
There are two hours in the day when I'm assured the luxury of roaming the free expanses of my consciousness and the fringes of my subconscious. I drive and look far into the distance, way out onto the horizon. I daydream about walking along the arid open range and climbing up the hills and plateaus. I practice internal dialogue so I always know what to say. I space out hard while still maintaining my trajectory along the highway. The music is up louder then when I have passengers.
There's nary anyone on the road. Rarely is there. Barbed wire fences race along the periphery like crude animations. Vegetation gives way to dune.
Tonight I'll might make the drive into town where I'll meet up with people I barely know on the internet. Somehow they have gifted me with their friendship. I'll try hard to not try hard.
Tomorrow the road will lead me to the same destination.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Valentine's Day Family Pic
manus_6739
Originally uploaded by mihio.
The weather was beautiful on Valentine's Day. We went to the playground at Miya's school and watched her jump off the swings inbetween chasing Jace around. I had lugged my gear around thinking about taking a family pic of us and this is one of the few I took.
four in oh eight.
Wow. I only blogged four times in '08. That's pathetic. My annual evaluation says that I need to pump it up. I need to initiate an effort to improve the frequency within which this blog is attended to. The memo has been met with concurrence.
I'm at a very happy and mellow point in my life right now. Although the nation is amidst an economic crisis in which the unemployment rate is growing everyday and the housing market is crashing, I feel very lucky and secure that I have my job. I don't foresee that changing anytime soon. So I cruise along. It's both good and bad.
It's bad because I don't really have to push myself to make things happen financially. I'm not scrambling or hustling. I ride out the two week span between pay periods and then check my account. Like clockwork, my direct deposit is there. No worries. However, I'm not as creative as I used to be and obviously thus, I don't blog but that really isn't at the top of my priorities. I don't get out and shoot photos as much as I used to. I think that when I was unemployed, I'd feel the urge more to venture out into the metro area and look for places, things and people to take photos of. I looked for danger and the unexpected unknown because I really had nothing to lose...financially.
So now, I occasionally set up trade shoots with models who are looking to build their portfolios and shoot with them. It's becoming standard and cliche'. This is not how I started my photographic journey and it most definitely will not be the way it ends. But I think in all of this, I'm developing (albeit slowly) a style and distinctive persona that will hopefully become recognizable and distinctive amongst photographers, native and otherwise. Blah and blah.
The good thing is that I'm there for my kids and able to watch them grow, develop and take on new personality characteristics. I love them. My daughter just turned eight this weekend and we had a great Bday party for her. We did the things that she wanted to and not what I thought would be cool. My wife was very instrumental in this by taking it upon herself to rent a limousine that would pick up my daughter and drive her and her friends around town before dropping them off at Skateland, where my daughter's party was held. And she loved it!!! Absolutely.
Her teeth are starting to fall out and she's very aware of how she wants to look and what is cool to her. Unfortunately, her brother isn't very cool and gets kicked out of her room on a daily basis.
And Jace. Oh man. He's so cute and growing up so fast. He'll be three in April and he's bigger than most of the kids at his daycare. He's like almost 50 lbs, or maybe he is. But he loves everything about his sister and emulates the things she does and likes. He loves Spongebob and chicken nuggets. Him and I wrestle on the bed all the time and he's a tough little guy with a hard head. Last night he banged his head into my lip and busted it open without any phase to himself. I was all mad, spitting blood out and he just kept on trying to jump on me. He's awesome.
I love these aspects of my life.
But yes, finances are still tight somehow. Rent, car payments, insurance, daycare, utilities, cell phones, cable, fucking photo radar speeding tickets. It comes from every direction but we do the best we can.
So I need to take it upon myself to do more, personally and creatively.
P.S. Jace broke my record player. That punk!
I'm at a very happy and mellow point in my life right now. Although the nation is amidst an economic crisis in which the unemployment rate is growing everyday and the housing market is crashing, I feel very lucky and secure that I have my job. I don't foresee that changing anytime soon. So I cruise along. It's both good and bad.
It's bad because I don't really have to push myself to make things happen financially. I'm not scrambling or hustling. I ride out the two week span between pay periods and then check my account. Like clockwork, my direct deposit is there. No worries. However, I'm not as creative as I used to be and obviously thus, I don't blog but that really isn't at the top of my priorities. I don't get out and shoot photos as much as I used to. I think that when I was unemployed, I'd feel the urge more to venture out into the metro area and look for places, things and people to take photos of. I looked for danger and the unexpected unknown because I really had nothing to lose...financially.
So now, I occasionally set up trade shoots with models who are looking to build their portfolios and shoot with them. It's becoming standard and cliche'. This is not how I started my photographic journey and it most definitely will not be the way it ends. But I think in all of this, I'm developing (albeit slowly) a style and distinctive persona that will hopefully become recognizable and distinctive amongst photographers, native and otherwise. Blah and blah.
The good thing is that I'm there for my kids and able to watch them grow, develop and take on new personality characteristics. I love them. My daughter just turned eight this weekend and we had a great Bday party for her. We did the things that she wanted to and not what I thought would be cool. My wife was very instrumental in this by taking it upon herself to rent a limousine that would pick up my daughter and drive her and her friends around town before dropping them off at Skateland, where my daughter's party was held. And she loved it!!! Absolutely.
Her teeth are starting to fall out and she's very aware of how she wants to look and what is cool to her. Unfortunately, her brother isn't very cool and gets kicked out of her room on a daily basis.
And Jace. Oh man. He's so cute and growing up so fast. He'll be three in April and he's bigger than most of the kids at his daycare. He's like almost 50 lbs, or maybe he is. But he loves everything about his sister and emulates the things she does and likes. He loves Spongebob and chicken nuggets. Him and I wrestle on the bed all the time and he's a tough little guy with a hard head. Last night he banged his head into my lip and busted it open without any phase to himself. I was all mad, spitting blood out and he just kept on trying to jump on me. He's awesome.
I love these aspects of my life.
But yes, finances are still tight somehow. Rent, car payments, insurance, daycare, utilities, cell phones, cable, fucking photo radar speeding tickets. It comes from every direction but we do the best we can.
So I need to take it upon myself to do more, personally and creatively.
P.S. Jace broke my record player. That punk!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
$2.98
all throughout the parking lot
lingers the stench of rotting chicken parts
mothers whizz by
children in shopping carts
some have fallen asleep in strollers, dreaming
never to remember the aisles through which
they've passed
under the artificial light of a late summer night
my children are at home, asleep
one in her own bed
the other with his mother
she sent me to buy a gallon of milk
along the way i decide on
diet soda and grapes
this oriental guy tells me, 'go ahead,'
then runs back to find something else
in front of him, two white dudes buy halloween shit
and 'winglettes'
plus bottles of frank's hot sauce
my money says they're serial killers
exiting into the heat and the stench
was overwhelming
it was breathtaking
and not in a good way
it was humiliating but humbling
in a way where the city pavement
clenches it's fist around your body and squeezes
it squeezes the pupils from their sockets
to let you know that, shit, man.
you might think you have a say in the matter
but you don't really
you really don't
you will succumb to the adversity
that underwrites your supposed free will
lingers the stench of rotting chicken parts
mothers whizz by
children in shopping carts
some have fallen asleep in strollers, dreaming
never to remember the aisles through which
they've passed
under the artificial light of a late summer night
my children are at home, asleep
one in her own bed
the other with his mother
she sent me to buy a gallon of milk
along the way i decide on
diet soda and grapes
this oriental guy tells me, 'go ahead,'
then runs back to find something else
in front of him, two white dudes buy halloween shit
and 'winglettes'
plus bottles of frank's hot sauce
my money says they're serial killers
exiting into the heat and the stench
was overwhelming
it was breathtaking
and not in a good way
it was humiliating but humbling
in a way where the city pavement
clenches it's fist around your body and squeezes
it squeezes the pupils from their sockets
to let you know that, shit, man.
you might think you have a say in the matter
but you don't really
you really don't
you will succumb to the adversity
that underwrites your supposed free will
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